reminded me so much abt the unhappy past.
i could still feel the pain, as if the flesh is still raw.
i guess, this unhappy memories could never be forgotten.
i could clearly remember what u said, how i felt, how much i cried.
its something that cant be erased no matter how much i try.
its something that no matter how much love u showered me, that these can be overcome.
how could it hurt that bad? i dont understand.
i tried to remind myself of this kinda pain,
so that if unfortunately the next blow come, it wont hit me as hard.
once is enough, i dun wanna go thru that period one more time.
my heart aint strong enough to take it.
im scared baby.
no matter how hard u hugged me, no matter how in love im with you,
im scared.
the fear of losing you someday, i dont want to face it.
everytime when we quarrel, i really feel like giving up already.
im heart wretch and ached like no one's business.
but i cant let go. i cant imagine my days without you.
i know its really bad. i peeked into ur handphone smses today.
sorry. sorry. sorry.
my curiosity lead me to this.
i saw you calling ZM "my dear" too.
i tried not to be too sensitive,
but i cant help but continue broading about this.
i already felt very angry when u called yeling "my gal"
im jealous.
i feel like smashing ur monitor.
how could u do this to other girls? addressing other girls as "my gal"
how will people think？
have u tot about my feelings if i happen to read them?
WHO EXACTLY IS YOUR GIRL?
you assured me that i am the only one whom you address as "my dear"
but now, after i saw ur sms with ZM.
i began to wonder, how much trust should i put in you.
i really dunno.
im amazed by how i managed to act ignorant abt all this,
continue laughing at ur jokes, continue holding ur hand, continue hugging you,
as if all these didnt happen at all.
and now when im facing the 4 walls at home,
all these thought creep into me silently,
i really dunno.
im at a lost.
tell me,
which are the other people who are YOUR DEARS and YOUR GALS.
posted by sAmaN+h4 @ 10:37 AM
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