when im home-alone.
u know, how bitter i felt yesterday?
i skipped lunch, so i can knock off at 4.30pm and rush down to taka to take a look at u.
i reached taka at 5, u werent at the counter.
and so i waited.
waited and waited.
6pm, u're still not there.
6.15pm. stil not thr.
wanted to give up at 6.30, but i finally saw u.
but i regretted waiting for u to appear,
only to witness something i dun wanna see.
i saw the missing ring on ur fingers,
and u being really happy.
i cant help but to think how can u behave like this when im actually so down.
arent you supposed to be down also?
ok, maybe im unreasonable, and u have ur every rights to be happy.
u sent me an sms that really work my tear glands again.
alright.
i get it now.
we are friends.
even if we meet, we'll still be friends.
we are friends because u feel stress comitted to a r/s.
all these. i think for the whole night,
and i really feel that u are bullshitting.
u just dun love me as much anymore.
when i intiate a break for 3 times last time,
u tried so hard to salvage,
and u wanted to salvage it because u love me.
and when we hug and kiss and stuff,
u loved me,
thats y u didnt feel stress committing in a r/s at all.
somehow i feel so cheated,
by u, trying to pin a false hope in me.
im carrying the hope everyday, every moment,
pining u to be back by my side.
u make me feel as if im not worthy anymore.
i know that from the beginning that we dun love me as much anymore,
just that im too weak to face the reality.
now im gonna face it.
brave and strong.
cos just like what shun wei says,
i still have some self-worth in me.
yes, its true that i still love you.
but u dun love me as much anymore.
as for the future, i really leave it to fate.
posted by sAmaN+h4 @ 4:27 AM
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